Do you ever go to church hoping you have enough snacks and “stuff” to keep your child quiet and occupied throughout the worship service? Many of us are familiar with the stigmatizing saying that children “should be seen and not heard,” in places that often include churches. I have personally lost that battle.

I am a momma to a 9-year-old with the superpower of autism. My little boy has a big personality. He wants to be both seen and heard. We battled at church because he constantly wanted to know what our pastor was doing and why. He basically wanted to be her shadow. I just wanted him to sit down and not be a distraction. I was that momma who would leave, defeated, because we had a “traditional” church where people stand up, sit down, sing and listen. When I was growing up, children were just “there.”

All of this changed when our pastor told me to let him be himself. Welcoming my child with open arms, she let him explore. She explained the “whys” and even made time to show him the “behind the scene” things that go on! I am certain that this ruffled a few feathers, to have this child up front and center, and helping with worship. But she knew he was a child of God. She knew that he deserved to be welcomed, just like everyone else. He found joy in being with her, and comfort in going to church every Sunday. When church would end, he would cry because he loved being there so much.

Now he soaks up everything he sees and hears. He takes joy in helping to distribute communion bread on Sunday. “The body of Christ given for you,” he tells everyone. (When he gave his teacher a pen at school, he even told her, “The body of Christ, given for you!”) Not only did we have a child helping with the service and communion, but in a sermon, our pastor quoted Jesus’ words to the disciples: “Let the children come to me and do not stop them. For it is to the children the kingdom of God belongs. Whoever doesn’t receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” We all got a little “let them be children” lesson.

At first, I felt my child’s presence and curiosity would cause problems or become a burden or distraction. In fact, it was just the opposite. I was too busy worrying to see the great things my child was doing for other people. He brought them joy just by being there and being himself. He was teaching an entire congregation about acceptance, understanding and experiencing church with him. He has brought joy in times of sorrow to many by giving communion or sharing the peace with others. He shows our church what the kingdom of heaven will look like: a place where everyone is safe, welcomed and loved.

April Bunton is a wife and mom who works in special education with her local school system. She is passionate about spreading awareness and acceptance for children with special needs.

This article appeared in the January/February 2025 issue of Gather. To read more like it, subscribe to Gather.